So NYC is in the midst of a transit strike. You may have heard. I've been reading lots o'crap about this, both news and opinion. And here's what I have to say to all the opinionators out there.
To any and all of you who can't spell (or at least use spell check) or construct a simple sentence correctly, your opinions are instantly disqualified. Ditto to those who have basic facts wrong, including the TWU's demands, the nature and applicability of the Taylor law, and the names and job titles of the key players. And sorry, but ditto also to those who live nowhere near NYC and do not use our public transportation system.
OK, I feel better now.
(For the sake of disclosure, I usually take the subway to work, but I worked from home today. Whew.)
Tuesday, December 20
Saturday, December 3
101 things (take 1)
OK, got my new computer mostly working, so here is the first installment of 101 things about me, as promised.
1. I'm a perfectionist.
2. I used to think I didn't like asparagus, feta cheese, or pistachios until Sean suggested I try them again, and now I love them.
3. But I still don't like tomatoes or mushrooms.
4. I like to crochet, even though some people call me grandma when I do.
5. I really enjoy wrapping presents.
6. I have three tattoos. Two are custom pieces that I designed. I share the third one with my friends Kate and Eryn.
7. I wish I had experimented with my hair color more when I was younger and didn't have to look presentable for work.
8. I was vegetarian for a few years, but now I eat fish and even an occasional cheeseburger.
9. I have lived in 5 different foreign countries and 7 different states so far and visited many more.
10. Sometimes I want to move to Montana and become a bush pilot.
11. I'm not dyslexic, but there are certain pairs of words that I frequently get mixed up: umbrella and elevator; pigeon and penguin.
12. Speaking of which, I hate pigeons.
13. I think the word "squirrel" is funny.
14. I get really embarrassed when I think about what a know-it-all I was when I was younger.
15. I have 2 sisters, one of whom is a famous blogger, and 1 brother, who thinks blogging is dorky (hi, Blake!).
16. I have never had a broken bone.
17. I like elephant jokes.
18. I wore glasses and braces in high school and hated them both. Thank you, LASIK surgery.
19. I like football and beer.
20. I drove to Mardi Gras in 1997 and again in 1998 with friends from grad school. We created a vault for storing the things that transpired there.
21. I walked home to Brooklyn from Manhattan during the blackout of August 2003.
22. I was in Mensa for a couple of years, but I let my membership expire.
23. My first new vehicle was a blue Dodge truck, which I adored. It replaced an elderly gray Oldsmobile, affectionately called the tank, which had its own charm.
24. I love LipSmackers lip gloss, but not the glittery kind.
25. I once went to Mexico without any forms of ID at all. Not my brightest moment.
26. I spent a weekend with three friends driving almost 1,000 miles to San Diego. We went to Sea World, then turned around and drove all the way back home to make it in time for work on Monday morning.
27. I toured most of New Mexico in a car named Nick.
28. I have a large collection of Disney movies on video, which I should probably sell on eBay.
29. I was president of my social club for one semester in college.
30. I happened to be at the top of the Empire State Building at sunset, and it was beautiful. I never could have timed it that way on purpose.
31. I make killer vegetarian chili.
32. I took my driving test in a colossal 1979 Ford station wagon. I couldn't parallel park it, so I failed the test the first time. And I ran a stop sign.
33. I never feel obligated to answer a ringing phone.
34. I spent New Year's Eve with my family on a boat in the middle of the Red Sea two years in a row (1993 and 1994).
35. I am very detail-oriented.
36. I won a bike in an essay contest about road safety in grade school. It was white.
37. I suck at sports and hate playing them.
38. I love the water, especially the ocean (any ocean will do).
39. I collect dolphins.
40. Some people call me (no, not a space cowboy) a pessimist, but really I am a frustrated idealist.
41. I have Myers-Briggs personality type INFJ. When I was younger, I was INFP. I guess this means I am more judgmental now than I used to be. In the MBTI tests, I am frequently split or borderline between F/T and J/P.
42. I learned to scuba dive from my mom when I was about 13.
43. Yo hablo espanol.
44. Sometimes I can't understand how anyone lives in NYC, and sometimes I can't imagine why anyone lives anywhere else.
45. I used to wear steel-toed boots to work, and like it.
46. As a child, I thought my dad was the most handsome man in the world.
47. I memorized the number of stairs in each flight in our entire house as a kid, so that I could still navigate if I went blind or the power went out.
48. I make up little songs to sing to my dog because she likes it.
49. I wish I could draw or sing well.
50. I'm something of a packrat.
This is harder than I thought it would be. But as soon as I come up with another 51 things, I'll post the follow-up. Don't hold your breath, though; it could be a while.
1. I'm a perfectionist.
2. I used to think I didn't like asparagus, feta cheese, or pistachios until Sean suggested I try them again, and now I love them.
3. But I still don't like tomatoes or mushrooms.
4. I like to crochet, even though some people call me grandma when I do.
5. I really enjoy wrapping presents.
6. I have three tattoos. Two are custom pieces that I designed. I share the third one with my friends Kate and Eryn.
7. I wish I had experimented with my hair color more when I was younger and didn't have to look presentable for work.
8. I was vegetarian for a few years, but now I eat fish and even an occasional cheeseburger.
9. I have lived in 5 different foreign countries and 7 different states so far and visited many more.
10. Sometimes I want to move to Montana and become a bush pilot.
11. I'm not dyslexic, but there are certain pairs of words that I frequently get mixed up: umbrella and elevator; pigeon and penguin.
12. Speaking of which, I hate pigeons.
13. I think the word "squirrel" is funny.
14. I get really embarrassed when I think about what a know-it-all I was when I was younger.
15. I have 2 sisters, one of whom is a famous blogger, and 1 brother, who thinks blogging is dorky (hi, Blake!).
16. I have never had a broken bone.
17. I like elephant jokes.
18. I wore glasses and braces in high school and hated them both. Thank you, LASIK surgery.
19. I like football and beer.
20. I drove to Mardi Gras in 1997 and again in 1998 with friends from grad school. We created a vault for storing the things that transpired there.
21. I walked home to Brooklyn from Manhattan during the blackout of August 2003.
22. I was in Mensa for a couple of years, but I let my membership expire.
23. My first new vehicle was a blue Dodge truck, which I adored. It replaced an elderly gray Oldsmobile, affectionately called the tank, which had its own charm.
24. I love LipSmackers lip gloss, but not the glittery kind.
25. I once went to Mexico without any forms of ID at all. Not my brightest moment.
26. I spent a weekend with three friends driving almost 1,000 miles to San Diego. We went to Sea World, then turned around and drove all the way back home to make it in time for work on Monday morning.
27. I toured most of New Mexico in a car named Nick.
28. I have a large collection of Disney movies on video, which I should probably sell on eBay.
29. I was president of my social club for one semester in college.
30. I happened to be at the top of the Empire State Building at sunset, and it was beautiful. I never could have timed it that way on purpose.
31. I make killer vegetarian chili.
32. I took my driving test in a colossal 1979 Ford station wagon. I couldn't parallel park it, so I failed the test the first time. And I ran a stop sign.
33. I never feel obligated to answer a ringing phone.
34. I spent New Year's Eve with my family on a boat in the middle of the Red Sea two years in a row (1993 and 1994).
35. I am very detail-oriented.
36. I won a bike in an essay contest about road safety in grade school. It was white.
37. I suck at sports and hate playing them.
38. I love the water, especially the ocean (any ocean will do).
39. I collect dolphins.
40. Some people call me (no, not a space cowboy) a pessimist, but really I am a frustrated idealist.
41. I have Myers-Briggs personality type INFJ. When I was younger, I was INFP. I guess this means I am more judgmental now than I used to be. In the MBTI tests, I am frequently split or borderline between F/T and J/P.
42. I learned to scuba dive from my mom when I was about 13.
43. Yo hablo espanol.
44. Sometimes I can't understand how anyone lives in NYC, and sometimes I can't imagine why anyone lives anywhere else.
45. I used to wear steel-toed boots to work, and like it.
46. As a child, I thought my dad was the most handsome man in the world.
47. I memorized the number of stairs in each flight in our entire house as a kid, so that I could still navigate if I went blind or the power went out.
48. I make up little songs to sing to my dog because she likes it.
49. I wish I could draw or sing well.
50. I'm something of a packrat.
This is harder than I thought it would be. But as soon as I come up with another 51 things, I'll post the follow-up. Don't hold your breath, though; it could be a while.
Wednesday, November 30
Today @ lunch: Rockefeller Center
Tonight is the lighting ceremony for the Christmas tree at Rockefeller Center, which is not too far from my office. Today at lunch I went to see the tree, because I know the throngs of retards tourists will keep me well away from the area once the tree is lit. I took the following pics with my trusty Sidekick.
Monday, November 21
Woe is Windows XP
So my computer died last Saturday. May it rest in peace. I ordered a new one, but I won't be posting much til it gets here and I get some time to set it up. I'm sure you'll all miss me terribly. When I'm back, maybe I'll try a 101 things post...
Friday, November 18
Today @ lunch: Bloomingdale's
My new office is right around the corner from Bloomingdale's. Today at lunch they unveiled their Christmas display windows to the accompaniment of rather loud opera singing. I went by after work to take these very fuzzy pictures using my Sidekick.
Tuesday, November 15
Tell me something I don't know!
You are a GRAMMAR GOD!
Congratulations! If your mission in life
is not already to preserve the English tongue,
it should be. You can smell a grammatical
inaccuracy from fifty yards. Your speech is
revered by the underlings, though some may
blaspheme and call you a snob. They're just
jealous. Go out there and change the world.
How grammatically correct are you? (Revised with answer key)
brought to you by Quizilla
Monday, November 7
Whats a coppy editer?
It's the eve of my last day as a copy editor, and I would like to honor it with a quote and photo.
"The copy editor is, in a way, a combination of shaman (who possesses arcane secrets, like when to use an en dash), trusted friend (whose wise advice keeps you out of trouble), and dominatrix (whose demands are both painful and satisfying)." --Steven Pinker
Friday, November 4
Wednesday, November 2
Resignation
Today was my last Wednesday at my current job! That's right, I quit. I'll be starting my new job soon. My friend Eryn just quit her job too. Woohoo! Must be something in the air, besides maple syrup.
I bought myself a Sidekick II as a congratulatory quit-my-job splurge. Very fun. More mobile posts to come. Maybe even with photos! Ain't technology grand.
I bought myself a Sidekick II as a congratulatory quit-my-job splurge. Very fun. More mobile posts to come. Maybe even with photos! Ain't technology grand.
Monday, October 31
Saturday, October 29
Can you hear me now?
So I just got a Sidekick and thought I'd try posting to my blog on the
go. Testing testing 1 2 3.
Friday, October 28
Slow news day
Wednesday, October 26
This just in: there is no news
Been a while since I posted. Been busy with all sorts of things, but haven't had much to say. Went to Texas last weekend for a wedding (congratulations, Kate and James!), which was awesome. Then Zoe got sick so we spent a night cleaning up dog yak, which was not awesome. Everything's mostly back to normal now, except for some funky looking spots in the carpet (sigh).
Tuesday, October 18
More dog haiku
Are you feeling ill?
Then I'll take sentry duty
Laying on your feet
Right behind the ears
Humans always seem to know
The best place to scratch
I lean on your leg
To show you how much I love
These black pants of yours
Then I'll take sentry duty
Laying on your feet
Right behind the ears
Humans always seem to know
The best place to scratch
I lean on your leg
To show you how much I love
These black pants of yours
Wednesday, October 12
Consulting the Oracle
OK, so Marisa posted about the Oracle of Google, and of course I had to try it. I'm such a follower! I consulted the Oracle, and here is what I found out:
- Monica hates not knowing everything [fair enough]
- Monica loves detail [yes, yes, I do]
- Monica wants a job [well, a better one, yes, I think we covered this earlier]
- Monica wants your input on how to build your new public Skate Park [ummm... I do?]
- Monica likes chopped up hot dogs in her mac and cheese [blasphemy!]
- Monica likes cooking [right again]
- Monica likes animals and would like to live on a farm and have a horse [let's not get carried away here]
- Monica needs a job [ok, ok, I think we get it]
- Monica needs a Bicycle Master Plan [whatever]
- Monica needs the Gift of Love to help steer her in the right direction [keep your "gifts" away from me, Cult of the Oracle!]
Sunday, October 9
A pet of my own
I've been a pet most all of my life, and I think it's high time I had a pet of my own! So I adopted this green hedgehog from bunnyhero labs adoption center and named him Spike.
Saturday, October 8
On freedom
"Freedom" is frequently invoked by GWB in his speeches and interviews. I'm not a believer in the view of freedom he espouses, so here's a discussion of freedom that's more to my liking. Food for thought.
At the city gate and by your fireside I have seen you prostrate yourself and worship your own freedom, even as slaves humble themselves before a tyrant and praise him though he slays them. Ay, in the grove of the temple and in the shadow of the citadel I have seen the freest among you wear their freedom as a yoke and a handcuff. And my heart bled within me; for you can only be free when even the desire of seeking freedom becomes a harness to you, and when you cease to speak of freedom as a goal and a fulfillment.
And if it is a despot you would dethrone, see first that his throne erected within you is destroyed. For how can a tyrant rule the free and the proud, but for a tyranny in their own freedom and a shame in their won pride?
Verily all things move within your being in constant half embrace, the desired and the dreaded, the repugnant and the cherished, the pursued and that which you would escape. These things move within you as lights and shadows in pairs that cling. And when the shadow fades and is no more, the light that lingers becomes a shadow to another light. And thus your freedom when it loses its fetters becomes itself the fetter of a greater freedom.
--The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran
At the city gate and by your fireside I have seen you prostrate yourself and worship your own freedom, even as slaves humble themselves before a tyrant and praise him though he slays them. Ay, in the grove of the temple and in the shadow of the citadel I have seen the freest among you wear their freedom as a yoke and a handcuff. And my heart bled within me; for you can only be free when even the desire of seeking freedom becomes a harness to you, and when you cease to speak of freedom as a goal and a fulfillment.
And if it is a despot you would dethrone, see first that his throne erected within you is destroyed. For how can a tyrant rule the free and the proud, but for a tyranny in their own freedom and a shame in their won pride?
Verily all things move within your being in constant half embrace, the desired and the dreaded, the repugnant and the cherished, the pursued and that which you would escape. These things move within you as lights and shadows in pairs that cling. And when the shadow fades and is no more, the light that lingers becomes a shadow to another light. And thus your freedom when it loses its fetters becomes itself the fetter of a greater freedom.
--The Prophet, Kahlil Gibran
Thursday, October 6
Contest!
Today I came across a funny new word: dymanics.
I think this was just a typo for "dynamics", but I took advantage of the opportunity to have a little contest to come up with the best definition of the new word "dymanics".
Here are the entries so far, from me and my fellow word nerds here at work (thanks, ladies!).
dymanics:
I think this was just a typo for "dynamics", but I took advantage of the opportunity to have a little contest to come up with the best definition of the new word "dymanics".
Here are the entries so far, from me and my fellow word nerds here at work (thanks, ladies!).
dymanics:
- the process in which a woman attempts to incite change, growth, or activity in her husband or boyfriend. [mh]
- the process by which women try to off males who are too hyper to sit down and have a conversation. [tm]
- the process in which a woman colors her hair in a frenzy to make herself into a "new person" after an argument or breakup with her significant other. Usually accompanied by thoughts of "He wasn’t good enough for me anyway," and "I don’t really know why I’m doing this; I’m already so good-looking," and "I hope my hair turns out as glossy and beautiful as the woman’s on the package." [jb]
- the study of dymans (whatever they are). [dm]
- Dymans are a girl's best friend. (It's OK, go ahead and groan.) [mh]
- Dymans are little-known fundamental particles. [ab]
- Dymans are the nifty synthetic gemstones of tomorrow. [ab]
- a posthumously published sequel to 'Dianetics'. [dm]
- an exclamation uttered when one is forced to watch two hours of 'Animaniacs' on a Saturday morning. (I babysat last weekend.) [ik]
Wednesday, October 5
World's most unfortunate phone number
I saw a commercial on TV this morning for a natural gas supplier whose phone number is 1-877-I'VE-GOT-GAS. But the best part is the jingle, in which a lady sings the phone number: Call one eight seven seven Iiiiiiiiiiiiiii've got gas!
I am definitely immature enough to find this hilarious. You know you are too.
I am definitely immature enough to find this hilarious. You know you are too.
Friday, September 30
depression, i guess
when did the days become all so alike
each ponderously sliding into the next
til unceremoniously i wake again?
is death just the last unremarkable twilight?
each ponderously sliding into the next
til unceremoniously i wake again?
is death just the last unremarkable twilight?
Thursday, September 29
Model citizen
Whew! Having lived overseas a good portion of my life, and not having any particular affinity for history, I wouldn't bet much on my knowledge of American history. But I am glad to report that I do know enough to qualify for US citizenship! Woohoo!
| You Passed the US Citizenship Test |
 Congratulations - you got 7 out of 10 correct! |
Monday, September 26
people, all the time (or: august in nyc)
even alone in a tiny room
i sense them breathing—these
people, all the time.
walls, buildings, sidewalks all exhaling
the air is fetid with exhaling.
i can't inhale:
every wisp of air
is stolen by these
people, all the time.
it is scavenged away
i don't know where.
if i could find it
(like a scuba diver with a parachute)
i would stuff it all
in a big balloon
and float away
from all these
people, all the time.
i sense them breathing—these
people, all the time.
walls, buildings, sidewalks all exhaling
the air is fetid with exhaling.
i can't inhale:
every wisp of air
is stolen by these
people, all the time.
it is scavenged away
i don't know where.
if i could find it
(like a scuba diver with a parachute)
i would stuff it all
in a big balloon
and float away
from all these
people, all the time.
Thursday, September 22
Rave: people who think I am a wolf
So some people in Brooklyn think that I am a wolf, and I think that's cool, because wolves are tough. One time a high school kid saw me and said to his friend, "That dog look like a lil wolf, yo!" That was cool.
Another time when I was taking Sean for a walk, a guy said to Sean, "Nice wolf you got there." That was cool too.
Then last Tuesday, when we were on a pack walk, a little kid saw me and said, "Mom, looka that doggy. I gotta doggy like that right here!" and showed us his book with a wolf on the cover. That was really cool.
So, yeah, I like being a wolf.
Another time when I was taking Sean for a walk, a guy said to Sean, "Nice wolf you got there." That was cool too.
Then last Tuesday, when we were on a pack walk, a little kid saw me and said, "Mom, looka that doggy. I gotta doggy like that right here!" and showed us his book with a wolf on the cover. That was really cool.
So, yeah, I like being a wolf.
Wednesday, September 21
Brainteaser 2
What happens when we use up this year's list of storm names? This season, we are already up to Rita, leaving only four names: Stan, Tammy, Vince, and Wilma. What do we name the storm after Wilma, if there is one?
It's a little embarrassing to admit this, but I learned the answer from Katie Couric on the Today Show this morning.
If anyone guesses, I'll post the answer later.
It's a little embarrassing to admit this, but I learned the answer from Katie Couric on the Today Show this morning.
If anyone guesses, I'll post the answer later.
Thursday, September 15
My job*: a cost-benefit analysis
Typically, my thoughts about my job zig-zag through a gradient from "thank goodness I have one" to "anything would be better than this". Job-seeking is so frustrating, so discouraging, so deflating, so dehumanizing. Then again, so is my current job. What to do?
Stay (benefits):
Go (costs):
(I'll leave aside, for the purposes of this evaluation, the pros and cons of having a job in general.)
Other points to consider:
Um, yeah. So there it is. Can you think of other costs, benefits, or points to consider that I should include in this analysis? Help me out!
*Disclaimer: This job is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual jobs, present or past, is entirely coincidental.
Stay (benefits):
- It's the devil I know.
- I can wear jeans, t-shirts and flip-flops to work.
- Sometimes I get to work from home.
Go (costs):
- Little opportunity for professional advancement.
- Rampant mismanagement of tasks and situations large and small.
- I am woefully underappreciated. (Sliiiiight exaggeration, but this is my blog!)
(I'll leave aside, for the purposes of this evaluation, the pros and cons of having a job in general.)
Other points to consider:
- Is some other job really going to be any better?
- If I leave, I lose the company-matched contributions to my retirement account. (Hey, I'm getting older, I have to think about these things!)
Um, yeah. So there it is. Can you think of other costs, benefits, or points to consider that I should include in this analysis? Help me out!
*Disclaimer: This job is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to actual jobs, present or past, is entirely coincidental.
Tuesday, September 13
Rave: Amazon.com
Ordered five books on Sunday from Amazon.com. Got free shipping, which means that your order can take 3-5 extra days to ship. Received 'em all today! Totally cool. So here is the lineup:
At bat:
On deck:
Read any of these? Let me know what you thought. Don't give away the endings or key plot points though. That wouldn't be very nice.
At bat:
- Friday Night Lights (yeah, I know I am mixing sports metaphors here; so sue me) (just started this one because I thought my Amazon order would not arrive for another week or so)
On deck:
- The Lovely Bones
- The Secret Life of Bees
- The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time
- Life of Pi
- The Devil Wears Prada
Read any of these? Let me know what you thought. Don't give away the endings or key plot points though. That wouldn't be very nice.
Friday, September 9
Like South Park?
Then you should check out South Park Studio (thanks, Kim!), where you can create your own South Park-style characters.
For example, here's me on a good day:
And after a bad day at work:
Warning: It's addictive! I can't stop! Here's one more...
A South Park-ified version of my profile pic:
For example, here's me on a good day:
And after a bad day at work:
Warning: It's addictive! I can't stop! Here's one more...
A South Park-ified version of my profile pic:
Tuesday, September 6
Brainteaser
For the NYC-philes...
What do the following characters have in common?
H I K O P T U X Y 8 0
Answer TK in a week or so, if anyone bothers to guess.
What do the following characters have in common?
H I K O P T U X Y 8 0
Answer TK in a week or so, if anyone bothers to guess.
Thursday, September 1
Headlines
Devastation. Destruction. Disaster. Tragedy.
These words seem to crowd the headlines every day, describing incidents big and small, global and local. They are so overused, in fact, that I'm desensitized to them. So much so that when I saw the first headlines about Hurricane Katrina, I scoffed. What's the big deal about a hurricane, I grumped. I lived in coastal North Carolina for a few years. We had hurricanes almost every season. Trees would fall, some low lying areas would flood, the power would go out, we'd all stay home for a day or two to wait it out then clean up. And then things went back to normal.
What happened to New Orleans this week as a result of Hurricane Katrina is nothing like that. It's incomprehensible to me in a way that I haven’t experienced since September 11. In the weeks after September 11, I read an opinion piece about how the overuse of words like "tragedy" has rendered them meaningless and bereaved us of words we can use to discuss events like September 11, the tsunami in Asia last year, and Hurricane Katrina. We are left with no baseline or reference point for expressing the magnitude of things.
But this linguistic frustration of mine is nothing. Imagine no food, no water, no shelter, no medical supplies, no bathrooms. Everything you own or recognize -- the whole city -- under dozens of feet of water, or worse: gone. You've been told to leave but given no means to do so. You don't know where your friends and family are and have no way to contact or find them. You're scared, exhausted, hungry, thirsty, sick and you have no resources with which to take care of yourself. If you're imagining this, like I am, then be thankful. Because lots of people on the Gulf Coast are living it right now.
It takes only a minute to help them; donate to the American Red Cross (they've received more than $33 million from more than 230,000 donors for hurrican relief so far) or other rescue and relief efforts.
Animals need help too. Many people had to leave their pets behind. You can support the animal rescue and relief efforts through several charities, like North Shore Animal League America.
These words seem to crowd the headlines every day, describing incidents big and small, global and local. They are so overused, in fact, that I'm desensitized to them. So much so that when I saw the first headlines about Hurricane Katrina, I scoffed. What's the big deal about a hurricane, I grumped. I lived in coastal North Carolina for a few years. We had hurricanes almost every season. Trees would fall, some low lying areas would flood, the power would go out, we'd all stay home for a day or two to wait it out then clean up. And then things went back to normal.
What happened to New Orleans this week as a result of Hurricane Katrina is nothing like that. It's incomprehensible to me in a way that I haven’t experienced since September 11. In the weeks after September 11, I read an opinion piece about how the overuse of words like "tragedy" has rendered them meaningless and bereaved us of words we can use to discuss events like September 11, the tsunami in Asia last year, and Hurricane Katrina. We are left with no baseline or reference point for expressing the magnitude of things.
But this linguistic frustration of mine is nothing. Imagine no food, no water, no shelter, no medical supplies, no bathrooms. Everything you own or recognize -- the whole city -- under dozens of feet of water, or worse: gone. You've been told to leave but given no means to do so. You don't know where your friends and family are and have no way to contact or find them. You're scared, exhausted, hungry, thirsty, sick and you have no resources with which to take care of yourself. If you're imagining this, like I am, then be thankful. Because lots of people on the Gulf Coast are living it right now.
It takes only a minute to help them; donate to the American Red Cross (they've received more than $33 million from more than 230,000 donors for hurrican relief so far) or other rescue and relief efforts.
Animals need help too. Many people had to leave their pets behind. You can support the animal rescue and relief efforts through several charities, like North Shore Animal League America.
Thursday, August 25
Dog haiku
pile of fallen leaves
golden in afternoon sun
i will pee on you
to rid the sidewalks
of the crumb-poaching pigeons:
this is my mission
my third nap today
stretch, heave sigh, close eyes, breathe deep
practice makes perfect
golden in afternoon sun
i will pee on you
to rid the sidewalks
of the crumb-poaching pigeons:
this is my mission
my third nap today
stretch, heave sigh, close eyes, breathe deep
practice makes perfect
Wednesday, August 24
Hobbies
I depend on Overheard in NY and Gawker to distract me from the daily irritation that is my job. So I am inordinately pleased that they've posted some of my observations! Check it out:
Overhead in NY:
The Rainbow Flag Hangs Over Wednesday One-liners
(july 27 2005, 3rd item)
Start the Clock, Wednesday One-liners
(august 24 2005 (today), 2nd item)
Gawker:
Ethan and Uma's Night out
(july 20 2004)
Gawker Stalker
(july 12 2005, clare danes & billy crudup, 8th item)
Overhead in NY:
The Rainbow Flag Hangs Over Wednesday One-liners
(july 27 2005, 3rd item)
Start the Clock, Wednesday One-liners
(august 24 2005 (today), 2nd item)
Gawker:
Ethan and Uma's Night out
(july 20 2004)
Gawker Stalker
(july 12 2005, clare danes & billy crudup, 8th item)
Friday, August 19
Namesake
It's about time Monica got off the computer and let me introduce myself! Zoe Bean Dog here, blog namesake and all-around great dog. I'm not so handy with the keyboard, so my posts will be short but I'll post as often as Monica lets me.
Monica and I go way back. She adopted me in 1999 from a shelter in North Carolina. I've always been good at holding down carpets, but now it's one of my main hobbies.
I also enjoy eating, chasing pigeons, sneezing, begging for tummy rubs, eating, and sucking up to people. And eating. Check back soon for more posts from me!
Wednesday, August 17
Olfactory memory
Thick like cotton
he wrapped his smell
around all he owned
to muffle me.
Stale sharp sour
it stung my nose
buffered his space.
Insulation
he wrapped his smell
around all he owned
to muffle me.
Stale sharp sour
it stung my nose
buffered his space.
Insulation
Thursday, August 11
Catwalk
This morning I saw a guy walking his cat in the park. The cat was wearing a harness and a leash. Now I've heard of people walking their cats, but I had never seen it for myself. It was really strange.
Then again, I think cats in general are pretty strange. Full disclosure: I'm not a cat person. I have a dog, named Zoe (my blog's namesake; more on her to come). I regard cats with some suspicion, much as they regard me. I have known many cats, and we had cats when I was a kid (first Mickey, then Middy). I even like some cats. But I still think they're strange.
There is a cat gang in my neighborhood. I see them almost every day when I walk the dog. Street toughs, these cats. They hiss at my dog from across the street and under cars. We walked past one house with four cats sitting around out front. Zoe stopped to stare, and they came running through the fence at her! One of them pulled a switchblade. I calmed things down, and they retreated to their yard, but I think they were throwing up signs behind our backs as we walked away. I won't be surprised if they all have little tattoos next time I see them. Feline13.
Yeah, cats are strange.
Then again, I think cats in general are pretty strange. Full disclosure: I'm not a cat person. I have a dog, named Zoe (my blog's namesake; more on her to come). I regard cats with some suspicion, much as they regard me. I have known many cats, and we had cats when I was a kid (first Mickey, then Middy). I even like some cats. But I still think they're strange.
There is a cat gang in my neighborhood. I see them almost every day when I walk the dog. Street toughs, these cats. They hiss at my dog from across the street and under cars. We walked past one house with four cats sitting around out front. Zoe stopped to stare, and they came running through the fence at her! One of them pulled a switchblade. I calmed things down, and they retreated to their yard, but I think they were throwing up signs behind our backs as we walked away. I won't be surprised if they all have little tattoos next time I see them. Feline13.
Yeah, cats are strange.
Tuesday, August 2
Public Transit Manifesto
Almost every day, I ride the subway. And almost every day, I am infuriated. Coincidence? I think not. One day, just one day, I'd like to make it all the way to work without wanting to kill someone. And I think, if we all work together, we can make that dream a reality. So here is my Public Transit Manifesto*. Everyone must comply.
*For the record, let me point out that I have personally witnessed every single one of these obnoxious behaviors, most of them more than once.
1. Don't make unnecessary noise.
Don't yawn or sigh audibly. Don't smack your lips. Don't whistle. Don't hum. Don't sing. Turn down your headphones. Don't drum your fingers or tap your nails or rings on any surfaces. If you wish to carry on a conversation, sit/stand near the person/people you're talking to and use your inside voice. Don't talk just to hear your own voice. Don't reprogram your cell phone ringer.
2. The train is not your living room.
Keep your feet on the floor. Keep your shoes on. Don't litter. Don't spit. Don't use other seats as your table, footstool, coat rack, or shopping cart. If you can't eat your snack with one hand, wait til you get home. Don't make out. Don't engage in personal hygiene (brushing your hair; cutting, filing, or painting your nails; putting on makeup or perfume; picking your teeth; picking your nose).
3. You are not the only person here.
Bathe. Wear clean clothes. Brush your teeth. Don't back up without looking to see what or who is behind you. Don't lean on people or rest your bags or coat on them. Take off your backpack/messenger bag/enormous tote bag on the train. Move with purpose onto, in and off the train and on the platform. Don't block train doors, stairs, or station turnstiles. Don't stop suddenly in your tracks or reverse direction without warning. Let people get off the train before trying to get on.
Want to propose some additions to my manifesto? Feel free to comment!
*For the record, let me point out that I have personally witnessed every single one of these obnoxious behaviors, most of them more than once.
1. Don't make unnecessary noise.
Don't yawn or sigh audibly. Don't smack your lips. Don't whistle. Don't hum. Don't sing. Turn down your headphones. Don't drum your fingers or tap your nails or rings on any surfaces. If you wish to carry on a conversation, sit/stand near the person/people you're talking to and use your inside voice. Don't talk just to hear your own voice. Don't reprogram your cell phone ringer.
2. The train is not your living room.
Keep your feet on the floor. Keep your shoes on. Don't litter. Don't spit. Don't use other seats as your table, footstool, coat rack, or shopping cart. If you can't eat your snack with one hand, wait til you get home. Don't make out. Don't engage in personal hygiene (brushing your hair; cutting, filing, or painting your nails; putting on makeup or perfume; picking your teeth; picking your nose).
3. You are not the only person here.
Bathe. Wear clean clothes. Brush your teeth. Don't back up without looking to see what or who is behind you. Don't lean on people or rest your bags or coat on them. Take off your backpack/messenger bag/enormous tote bag on the train. Move with purpose onto, in and off the train and on the platform. Don't block train doors, stairs, or station turnstiles. Don't stop suddenly in your tracks or reverse direction without warning. Let people get off the train before trying to get on.
Want to propose some additions to my manifesto? Feel free to comment!
Sunday, July 24
We're engaged!
We got engaged yesterday! We had been thinking about going on a picnic to Prospect Park, like we did Fourth of July weekend, but decided it was too hot. So we went over to the Brooklyn Bridge instead, to check out an art/performance space in the anchorage and then have pizza at Grimaldi's and ice cream at the Brooklyn Ice Cream factory and enjoy the view of the city and watch people come to take their wedding photos. When we got there, we realized the performance space was closed, so we headed over to Grimaldi's. Just a short wait, sat down and wolfed a whole pie between us. We were too full for ice cream at that point, so we went walking through the parks along the river under and between the Brooklyn and Manhattan bridges. We were hanging out in the shade, watching the boats, and taking pictures of the view. Then Sean says to me "I guess this is as good as time as any." I said "For what?" And he said "One more surprise." Pulled the ring out of his pocket and said, "Will you marry me?" I said "Yes of course" (and I think I said yes a few more times). Then I asked him to put the ring on for me. It's gorgeous – an antique sapphire and platinum ring that we had picked out a few weeks earlier from Stardust Antiques, an antique store near Gramercy Park. It's perfect! Later Sean said he got nervous for a minute there before he asked me and thought maybe I would say no because he waited too long and throw the ring into the river. Then we asked some nice people passing by to take our picture, so we have a couple of pics of us freshly engaged! Then our photographer asked us where we were from. We laughed and said "here, Brooklyn". Guess we were acting too much like tourists. Then we headed home, stopping off at Commonwealth on the way for a few celebratory beers, and watched Casablanca. We'll always have Brooklyn...
Friday, July 22
Nice to see you!
I just started this blog as a way to let my friends and family know what I'm up to. I began by adding a few "archive" posts rescued from old group emails that I had saved on my Yahoo home page, which was woefully out of date. I plan to post at least weekly, so check back soon. And please feel free to comment!
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